Initiation

Getcertified.

We are not many but we weigh a ton. Joining is easier than leaving a group chat and carries roughly the same spiritual risk.

Your card

Say your name.Slowly.

Type it below and watch it become official. This is the entire vetting process.

To be announced How membership works. Nothing you type here is saved or sent.

The Sugar Coated Cult member card

Certified memberYour name

The rite

Three steps.No chanting.

The Certified Member booklet beside the black card

  1. Acquire an object.

    Any object. The cult does not rank its members by spend. It barely ranks them at all.

  2. Tell no one. Or everyone.

    We have no enforcement arm. We have an Instagram account.

  3. Have a small existential crisis.

    Sporadic is fine. You were going to anyway. Now it counts towards something.

The list

This is nota job.

It is a mailing list. Leave your address and we will write when there is a new object or a compelling reason to panic.